Borderline Personality Disorder
Let’s start with the basics. It’s called “Borderline” because we’re somewhere in between neurotic and psychotic. This means we’re usually in a deep state of distress along with being bat-shit crazy, we lose touch with reality a lot. It’s one of the most…
I have Borderline Personality Disorder, but not all of us are the same, even though many characteristics may apply across the board.
Perhaps it may be helpful for you to understand what is going on inside me at the moment.
As an example, you may perceive that I am blowing a situation completely out of proportion and over-reacting.
In fact, I am not acting, or over-dramatizing what I am feeling.
In fact, I am probably minimizing the way I really am feeling at the time.
Think of the most painful event you have ever encountered in your life and multiply it a few to a hundred times:
That is what I am feeling at that moment.
Think: What would your response be to a loved one at a funeral, or at the scene of a crime, or an accident?
The first words would be soothing, comforting, or acknowledging the painful, emotional, situation at hand.
Yes, details must be attended to… but the emotional response is appropriate and effective for that scenario.
You intuitively know that emotions over-rule logic at that time, and you have empathy for that.
You know that if you offer a shoulder to cry on, or the empathy card, that it will help the person better deal with the tasks at hand.
For us, because of the way our brains work, many events that you may manage with less difficulty may send us to the grave-site or scene-of-the-accident emotionally.
The most efficient way of helping us many times is to simply use the preface,
“I know this is upsetting to you”
“I know this has been very difficult for you and I’m here”
before you say anything else.
This may, in fact, diffuse our internal storm to some degree so that we can function even just a tiny bit more better.
Once we feel more understood, much of that inner turmoil may quieten for a while and we may then be able to focus on the logical side of life.
Also, I believe people with BPD deeply desire an intimate and sustaining relationship with their loved ones.
That is what they want.
His/her disorder prevents him/her from that and it is very difficult for him/her to be away from those s/he loves.
S/he may be afraid s/he will say something to hurt you, or do something wrong that s/he regrets later or is ashamed of.
S/he may be very afraid of disappointing you, because, after all, s/he really IS “different.”
Those with Borderline Personality Disorder are some of the most intensely lonely folks around, with no way to resolve their pain.
S/he is not so much rejecting you, even though s/he may, exactly, say those words.
Take comfort in these facts in each and every interaction.
Try to turn each thing s/he says that causes you self-doubt or grief around to feeling deep compassion for his/her painful condition and see if that helps.
I realize that emotional validation may seem counter-intuitive to a “let’s pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and fix it, just basically get over it” mentality that many of us have been taught, but this is a helpful approach to highly emotional creatures such as myself and many others that could be so much more helpful than the above many have been taught to do instead.
This is the best thing I have ever read describing the emotions that come with BPD.
I understand why people always think Borderlines are selfish. We’re really not but when we’re hurt, we hurt so bad we can’t think about anything else. We can’t think about others’ feelings. The pain consumes us. Every fiber of my being aches and burns and as much as I’d like to keep your feelings in mind, I can’t do it.
YOU CANT CHANGE THE VOLUME OF THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
FUCKING TRY I DARE YOU
ITS IMPOSSIBLE AND ITS REALLY FUCKING WITH MY MIND SOMEONE HUG ME
I CAN MAKE IT SCREAM WITHOUT GETTING LOUDER
H E L P
Holy shit whispering is the same volume as shouting as loud as I can
Can I die from pen ink poisoning? :o
Really? Six notes? I stopped studying for finals just to draw this! Haha